If I Were a Boy
by elizabethcordayed
Summary: Alicia has just found out about Peter and Kalinda.  This is my version of her reaction, set to Reba McEntire's "If I Were a Boy."  Song-fic.  Spoilers through "In Sickness"


**A/N:** This is my first Good Wife fanfic, but I've been a fan since the pilot. I just thought that this song fit really well with Alicia and Peter's situation after she found out about him and Kalinda, and since I'm not technologically adept enough to make a video, I decided to write this. Hope you like it.

**A/N 2:** BTW, I am using Reba McEntire's version of the song.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Good Wife or If I Were a Boy. They belong to their respective writers, creators, producers, etc.

_If I were a boy, _

_Even just for a day, _

_I'd roll out of bed in the morning _

_And throw on what I wanted and go_

Alicia couldn't believe it.

He'd done it again.

He'd cheated.

With her best friend.

And then he'd lied about it.

It didn't matter that she hadn't known Kalinda then, he was married and they both knew that when they'd decided to have their little one night stand.

_I'd drink beer with the guys_

_And chase after girls_

_I'd kick it with who I wanted_

_And I'd never get confronted for it_

'_Cause they'd stick up for me_

She probably should have known there were other women, more women other than that one prostitute. She just never imagined that it would be Kalinda, the woman she trusted, her only female friend since this whole disaster of a scandal started. He had taken her dignity and her pride and had treated them as if they were nothing. She had finally gotten them back (no thanks to him), and then he'd gone and almost destroyed them again.

_If I were a boy_

_I think I would understand _

_How it feels to love a girl_

_I swear I'd be a, a better man_

Alicia knew, that if their positions were reversed, that she would never have betrayed her husband like that. She knew how it felt to be so in love with someone and then to be crushed when the other person took that love for granted. No matter how she felt about Will, she had never cheated, never betrayed that sacred trust. She knew how much it hurt to be the one who was faithful, and then to be made the fool because of that very faithfulness.

_If I were a boy_

_I would turn off my phone_

_Tell everyone it's broken_

_So they'd think that I was sleeping alone_

_I'd put myself first _

_And make the rules as I go_

'_Cause I know that she'd be faithful _

_Waiting for me to come home_

_Oh, to come home_

She remembered those nights, all those nights waiting for him to come home. She remembered all the times he said he had to work late. How many times had he actually used "working late" as an excuse to meet with that prostitute? Which "I have to work late" had been him having sex with Kalinda?

_If I were a boy _

_I think I could understand_

_How it feels to love a girl_

_I swear I'd be a better man_

_I'd listen to her_

'_Cause I know how it hurts_

_When you lose the one you wanted _

'_Cause he's taking you for granted _

_And everything you had got destroyed_

Alicia was tired of it. She was tired of taking him back, giving him chance after chance to change, to become the man she married again. The only "change" she got was for the campaign. That stupid campaign. That was the only thing he cared about anymore. The campaign. He needed her to stay so that he could get elected, not because he actually needed _her_.

_It's a little too late for you to come back_

_Say it's just a mistake_

_Think I'd forgive you like that_

_If you thought I would wait for you_

_You thought wrong_

She wasn't going to stand for it anymore, for being the "good wife" while he did whatever he wanted. He hadn't even _apologized_. No, he'd just wanted her to get over it, get over him sleeping with her best friend because she hadn't known Kalinda then. What, that made it okay?

_But you're just a boy_

_You don't understand_

_How it feels to love a girl _

_Someday you wish you were a, a better man_

_You don't listen to her_

_You don't care how it hurts_

_Until you lose the one you wanted _

'_Cause you've taken her for granted_

_And everything you had got destroyed_

_But you're just a boy_

She got him an apartment, and paid the first three months' rent, which was more than he deserved. She told him it was over, and he, ever the politician, ever the lawyer, tried to convince her to stay, tried to convince her that he would change, tried to win her like he'd won the election. It wasn't going to work this time, though. This time she was leaving him and going to find someone who treated her like a human being and not like a puppet to be manipulated. She was going to show her children that this wasn't like what a relationship, what a marriage was supposed to be like. She was going to show the world that Alicia Florrick was more than Peter Florrick's doormat of a wife. She was going to show the world that she was a force to be reckoned with.


End file.
